Nadia and her husband Dan had struggled with infertility before deciding that adoption was the right path for them to take to become parents. They live in Warrington and have three children. Their boys joined them aged 30 months and 11 months and then 9 months later, their little girl joined the family. She was 9 months old so had been born within weeks of the boys coming home for the first time.
Nadia says: “We certainly had our hands full; it was a complete whirlwind. We went from zero children to three children within 10 months!”
Think about the bigger picture
Often people spend a long time coming up with a list of reasons why they should adopt and reasons why they shouldn’t. Sometimes it’s a good idea to get in touch with an adoption agency like us to just have someone to talk to and explain key things. This can help open your eyes that bit more and it might even give you the confidence to enquire or attend an information session.
Dan says: “If I was to give any advice to someone thinking of taking the next step in adopting, I would say, what are your 'why nots' - I can guarantee the majority of your answers will be superficial.”
Good support can make all the difference
It can be so exciting when the children you’ve dreamed about and wanted for so long, move in and join your family. You’ll no doubt feel a real mix of emotions as it’s a huge life-changing moment.
Nadia explains: “I think when a child moves in, all your attention and focus is on them, you have the ability to try too hard (unnecessarily) at times to make things work, I wish I would have spoken to more adopters before and during our adoption journey, I believe post adoption stress disorder is real and affects more of us than we think due to us putting too much pressure on ourselves to be the best we can for our children.”
Dan adds: “Thankfully the support we had from our social worker and the children's social worker made us feel we were never alone, they were always just an email away, and their support did not end as soon as the children moved in. Even now, we know that support is only a phone call away.”
Extended family love them so much
When you adopt, your parents gain grandchildren, and your sisters and brothers gain nephews and nieces. Your extended family benefits from the love and joy children bring. It isn’t always easy though and it can take time for everyone to gel. Extended family members need to understand the needs of your children and how a therapeutic parenting approach might differ from what they’re used to.
Nadia says: “Anyone looking into our family from the outside would not know we are not the birth parents of our children. I was having a conversation with my sister the other day and she said my brother-in-law was worried that he would not love the children like his other nieces and nephews, years on he has a greater bond with our children.
“As time passes, we have seen them grow into a family unit, they have adopted our habits and idiosyncrasies, there is no doubt whose children they are in the school yard or sports field.”
To start your journey today, complete our online enquiry form or call our friendly team for more information on 01942 487272.
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*Anonymous Adopter – Names and LA changed for confidentiality*